lyrics

 

Patio Patois - 1998 (out of print)
patio patois LYRICS
  1. Wake Up
  2. Phone Call
  3. Five and Dime
  4. Turn it Out
  5. Pinball Pitstop
  6. Bootytime USA
  7. Brain Stain
  8. Outside Looking In
  9. Flipside Jive Turkey
  10. Hammy
  11. Wink of Rest
Album Synopsis

A concept album about skipping school and killing brain cells.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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WAKE UP (FUCK YOU)

Every morning, without a warning, mom barges in my room
And wakes me up and shakes me up and fills me up with gloom.
The gods of barley could have hardly imagined such a fate
as mom startling me whole-heartedly at a quarter until eight.

Wake up.
Wake up?
Wake up!
I say "fuck you."

Tossing, turning, tumbling, rolling over in me bed
Bashing, smashing, crashing, thrashing up inside me head

Oh man, the malt liquor made me sicker then I could've known
from pulling tubes of home grown, my mind's completely blown

the bags left underneath my eyes look like they weigh a ton
I can't be completely sure, but I think I had some fun

Tossing, turning, tumbling, rolling over in me bed
Bashing, smashing, crashing, thrashing up inside me head

Wake up
Fuck you

Every morning without a warning, mom barges in me room
and wakes me up and shakes me up and fills me up with gloom
The gods of barley could have hardly imagined such a fate
as moms startling me whole-heartedly at a quarter until eight

Tossing, turning, tumbling, rolling over in me bed
Bashing, smashing, crashing, thrashing up inside me head


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Phone Call

Hello, it’s me, big daddio
Grillin’ and chillin’ on the patio
I is a smooth french fabio
Devised a suaree, you have to go
First pick up beverage from the liquor store
Try to beat my score on Defender
See you in a while or more


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FIVE AND DIME

Break it on down to the five and dime
And get me some cheap-ass wine

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TURN IT OUT ON THE WAY

Inject caffeine into my bloodstream
And jet like boba fett to the party scene
Dude’s tailin’ me like an obscene fiend
So I push the button on my smoke screen

5.0 saw my deed and he’s none too pleased
Gets on the intercom, says pull over, freeze”
Inside my stomach feels all sour queeze
But there’s no way I will simply sieze

Three more blocks ‘til my man’s abode
See a pretty bitty at the side of the road
Pull over slow ask to borrow her clothes
She says no, that’s the way it goes

Pull into the drive of my homey’s house
Haze lingers above, they’re probably soused
I wade through cans it leaves no doubt
The fish fry is on, let’s grill up some trout

Though the time is early it’s time to turn it out...

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PINBALL PITSTOP

(5, 10, 15, 20, what is next?)
Living in the shade of a video arcade (repeat)
Living in the shade as we all start to fade...

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BOOTYTIME USA

I went to a hoe-down, and a hoe went down on me
So I grabbed a fancy french-tickler and tickled her fancy
"Pardon my French" I said, though she didn't seem to care.
So I whispered sweet nothings into her derrier.
(oh mon sherrie)

Booty time, Booty time. Across the USA.
Booty time, Booty time. Hey, hey
Booty time, Booty time. Across the USA
Booty time, Booty time. Hey, hey

Inebriated lady elated by my way
Interject perplexing dialect to leave her amazed
I can see right through ya, just like wearing X-Ray specs
Excuse me for a second, let me bust my mic check.
(ah-pu-buh-huh)

Booty time, Booty time. Across the USA
Booty time, Booty time. Hey, hey.
Booty time, Booty time. Across the USA.
Booty time Booty time. Hey, hey.

It's booty time
It's booty time
It's booty time
It's booty time



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BRAIN STAIN

Wasted like big bills spent on a thong
Mind is fried like a Fatburger on the grill too long
This ain't a song
about Hong Kong Phooey
regretfully

Somebody stained my brain
Going mad or just insane

Beaten like I went twelve with Clubber Lang
So perplexed I just want to say, "dang."
I'm a space cadet
who sips his tang
alone
like a snow cone I melt away

while somebody stains my brain
going mad or just insane
can barely think, I'm on the brink
say, somebody stained my brain
hey, somebody stained my brain

All worn out like a pair of Wide Rider jeans
My heart is talking but I don't know what he means
Thoughts all unclear, unclean like afro sheen
Soul Glow

Sifting through the grains of my mind
grinding gears until I find

that somebody stained my brain
feel exceptionally drained
like a wet book with faded text
now my mind asks me, "what is next?"

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OUTSIDE LOOKIN' IN

Them try to see me on the outside looking in
Them just don't realize all the trouble they begin
Them want to be me but how dare them be so mean
Them lurk in my lawn and leer right through my screen

I try not to mind
sipping Tanqueray and lime
puffing my kind
I rest my behind

I lounge in my leisure suit
This whole thing just does not compute
I got the permit
to be a hermit
(don't bother me please!)

Yet still them stand there on the outside looking in
Chase dem away but them soon return again
Them really good guessers
and perfectly mimic my gestures
Pesky scavengers, I am not having you

your shadowy faces
vanish without any traces
commence and then learn
that them do return
(them bother me so!)

All my rowdy crew when we here them dey be here too.
What do we do?
Surprise them outside
but quick and clever them hide

Look inside my lair. Guess who I see standing there
how unfair
run in my domain
But when I return no one remain

Them back to being on the outside looking in (them always win)
Like I'm playing games with my annoying little friends

Whoa, don't care them be staring at me
(repeat)

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FLIPSIDE JIVE TURKEY

I’ll see you on the flipside
And you can give me five
I’ll see you on the flipside
And momma, no I’ll take no jive
Cuz, baby you know I’m gonna keep the change
Now you see jive turkey
You be a jive turkey


 

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HAMMY

Mammy
Got me chillin’ in my jammies
feeling warm and clammy
hammy

Every Easter I eat some peeps
And use a wet-nap on my cheeks
sweet
eating treats
I feel completely complete

Grammy
you be chillin' in Miami
Where its warm and sandy
Dandy

Your fanny
so soft and lamby
hammy
hammy

At the barnyard I see some sheep
and gently step in dung that reeks-it's neat
when the farmers squeeze teets
it makes me want to beat my meat

Spanky
Stop that hanky panky
don't be so cranky
You’re stanky

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WINK OF REST

You know, sometimes I get so tired
and I get picked on and beat up by my life.
and sometimes you just got to fight back
and other times you just got to get nice

But right now it’s time to get nasty
Right now it’s time to get mean (like Mr. Clean)

I just want a wink of rest
I just want a wink of rest
I just want a wink of rest
I just want a wink of rest
(Oh mama)
You got me me beggin’ on my knees
You got all my apologies
Oh baby, you know I’m begging ya, please
Just let me get some Z’s
(a little shuteye)

Now it’s time to get real dirty
Now it’s time to get real mean (like Mean Joe Green)

I just want a wink of rest
I just want a wink of rest
I just want a wink of rest
I just want a wink of rest

And you’re the best

Don’t make a peep
Gonna get some sleep
Now it’s time for me to count some sheep

Just a wink of rest
Just a wink of rest

 

 

 

 

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